Saying Thank You — the Right Way
Brain studies suggest that the capacity to experience positive emotions may be fundamental to human flourishing.
Shawn Achor, a leading speaker on positive psychology, focuses on the idea of positivity in the present. Forget about delaying happiness until some lofty goal is reached, he says. Happiness is achievable today and every day. That means connecting it into your daily work.
One thing Achor recommends is to write at least one message of gratitude each day. He says this simple gesture has the potential to boost your own happiness, and that the act itself can flood your system with dopamine, the happiness hormone. What a win-win! Writing a note or email of gratitude is as much a boon to your own happiness as it is to that of the person you're sending it to.
Saying It Right
This might sound overwhelming at first, but if you put it into the context of what you're working on, it can be both beneficial and highly productive.
Take this example from our company. We're in the process of developing and rolling out a new product. This is a huge deal for us--the work is of high importance and requires leaders from across the company to work closely with one another and their own teams. Meetings can be challenging and tough at times. We just had one last week that was both tense and productive. I came away needing some big deliverables but also very impressed with my team leads.
Thanking them is important, both for our mutual happiness quotient as well as to deliver gratitude for hard work. But to really help either me or my team, these notes have to be genuine and appeal to what each person values and what drives him or her.
We've identified four ways that people think and three ways that people behave. By tailoring your message around those attributes, you can ensure it will appeal to your recipient.
Take a look below and remember, these are all different thank-yous coming from the same meeting!
Greeting: Even the opening can be specified.
- Dear Ann. More formalised greetings probably work for leaders like Ann, who may exhibit analytical thinking or prefer a more structured environment.
- Hi, Mike! Informal greetings using a name appeal to those with a Social preference. Exclamation points convey warmth to those on the gregarious side.
- Hey! Those with a more driving behavioural preference or Conceptual thinking preferences don't even need their name--you aren't hurting their feelings.
Body: This is your main thank-you.
- Analytical. "Your ability to quantify the value in this strategy is much appreciated."
- Structural. "Thanks to your methodical approach, we were able to meet the deadline on Phase 1. The fact that you’re taking the lead on the planning for Phase 2 signifies strong leadership growth."
- Social. "I am so glad that you were able to connect us with that new vendor partner. Your ability to continue this relationship will be really helpful moving forward. I really appreciate it!"
- Conceptual. "Your ability to rattle off one good idea after another in the meeting was amazing--your imagination and creativity are assets to our company."
Ending: I like concluding notes with next steps related to behaviour.
- Assertiveness. "Looking forward to next steps and doing this the right way." Or, "Now it's time to hit the ground running. Talk soon!"
- Flexibility. "We've got our plan and we're moving forward on it." Or, "We'll keep you posted and let you know how things change and shake out."
- Expressiveness. "Sincerely." Or, "Thanks so much!"
Sending notes of gratitude not only confirms your appreciation of someone, but it also makes you happier. Doubt it? Give it a try. You can thank me later.
This article was originally published in Inc.com Boost Your Happiness By Saying Thank You--the Right Way”.